Geliebtes Kind, Geliebtes Weib
by Tarma Hartley
Summary: Miles cleans out the attic office in the home that he and Phoenix share and comes across something that reminds him of a terrible time in his past. Though that person is three years dead, his ghost has arisen from the shadows of the past to haunt Miles once more, bringing back memories he'd tried very hard to forget... Mature, rape/physical/emotional abuse


_A/N: I do not own Phoenix Wright, Miles Edgeworth or Manfred Von Karma; they belong to CAPCOM. However, the rather twisted plot is mine.  
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_Miles cleans out the attic office in the home that he and Phoenix share and comes across something that reminds him of a terrible time in his past that has arisen once more from the shadows to haunt him...  
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After sitting on this for the past three years, I've finally finished writing the Prologue. It _isn't_ a very pleasant fic, to be sure, and it's going to be one of the darker pieces that I've written to date, if not the darkest. It deals with mature subject matter-that being rape and physical and emotional abuse-so reading discretion is **STRONGLY** advised. If this kind of subject matter is disturbing and/or distasteful to you, I would** strongly** recommend that you **don't** read this.

Miles is haunted by the ghosts of his past and this fic explores one of the thousands of possible reasons why he's so haunted, going back to the time when he resided with the von Karmas in Germany, the events of this story happened when Miles was twenty years of age. It's kind of AU-with von Karma being three years dead in this story-but still fits within the timeline in AA, at least to some degree. I've also included Phoenix in the list of characters since he's in it; he's just not really the focus at least not right now.

_Geliebtes Kind, Geliebtes Weib_ is German for _Darling Child, Darling Wife_ and the reason for this being the title of the fic will become clear later on. It's definitely _not_ a compliment in this story but a horrific, twisted insult. (Von Karma is _such_ a bastard!) I hope that I have written Miles' emotional state realistically and the reaction to the letter-once he realizes _what_ it is and _what_ it represents-realistically, as well.

Anyhow, for those who are still reading, I hope that it won't creep you out too much, chilling and disturbing as this twisted foray into Miles' past will be.

**Thanks** to my readers and all those who have favourited, reviewed, story alerted, favourite author or author alerted me. I appreciate it more than I can say! :)

**Thank you** to MeiIlan for the German translation of the title! Much appreciated!

**Special thanks** to my beloved husband, DezoPenguin, for all his help, support, advice, nagging (when necessary) and encouragement! I appreciate it more than I can say! Love you!

Comments are appreciated and welcome! :) *I'll probably change some things at some point; always room for improvement! :) *

Rated Mature, male/male relationships, Rape/Physical & Emotional Abuse, Angst/Hurt/Comfort, Phoenix & Edgeworth  
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_October 16th  
Phoenix Wright & Miles Edgeworth Residence  
Miles' Ground Floor Office  
2:30 P.M._

"_Today_, Miles?" Phoenix's voice sounded quite put out behind me as I nodded, picking up a box and began filling it with cleaning supplies and a large handful of old rags that would be perfect for dusting, my brow wrinkling in concentration as I thought about what other items I would need. "You're going to be cleaning the attic office _today_?" I could hear the barely repressed indignation in his voice. "I thought that we agreed that we would do it _next_ weekend, not _this_ weekend!"

That Saturday afternoon I had decided, much to Phoenix's chagrin, to do a long delayed clean up of my office in the attic. It had been too long since the last time I had been up there and I knew that it would be a long process with all the accumulated dust and junk in the vicinity that, I surmised, was probably packing the place to the rafters.

"Plans _do_ change, Phoenix," I said somewhat tartly as I turned around to face him. I tossed another small box into the larger and leaned over to pick up another one that lay near my desk while he stood there and glowered at me through narrow, blue slits, his arms crossed over his chest. "I have another case I'm prosecuting that goes to trial October 30th and I'll need next weekend to get my case ready." I raised an eyebrow. "You knew this already, Phoenix; this is the _only_ weekend I'll have until the trial date free and I really do need to get it done sooner, rather than later."

My spate of logic didn't impress him nor did it mollify him if the petulant expression on his face was any indication. I repressed the urge to smile, steeling my expression into one of sternness and implacability.

I stood up straight, my index finger lying against my lips for a few moments before, as an afterthought, I turned and picked up a few other boxes which would be small enough to add to the bigger box without making it impossible for me to pick it up. "And _that's_ in addition to the Taggert case that we're working jointly on, I might add," I continued, "and I _won't_ have the time next weekend to clean since I'll be preparing the Prosecution's case so... I decided to do it today."

I could see the flicker of conflicting emotions as they raced across his face as his good sense fought with his desire to be with me raged on. After a few moments of tense silence, Phoenix sighed with mingled annoyance and regret, his shoulders slumping.

"Oh, very well," he said rather crossly with ill-disguised grace as he turned to walk out the adjoining door, "do as you feel you must, if you _won't_ listen to good sense."

I put the box down on the floor and swiftly turned to face him, my hand shooting out and grabbing his wrist. Something in the tone of his voice told me that he truly was upset that I had changed our plans and I knew that I had to address it and quickly.

I could see his lips tremble slightly and his startled blue eyes gazed deeply into my dark greys for a moment before he looked down, a red flush staining his pale cheeks a bright crimson. He knew that he sounded petulant and childish but I couldn't say that he _didn't_ have a point since he _did_.

We had been far too busy lately for much more than a quickly snatched breakfast-usually an apple or other piece of fruit with a mug of coffee-and I could understand where he was coming from. We needed more together time and we didn't have the time to get it at this point in the year as the days and weeks leafing up to Halloween were usually the busiest for the both of us. Which, consequently, meant that we would often go without much more than a quick hug, buss and a hurried "love you" as we raced out the door.

I knew that he was frustrated and I could well sympathize with him on this point, as well since I felt the same way that he did. I wanted more time to spend with him but, until our workloads wound down, that wouldn't even be a remote possibility and we both knew it.

It wasn't like this was an isolated event but something that happened, like clockwork, every year so I wasn't certain why he was making such an issue of it now. Still, I could understand his anger with the situation as it stood: we lived in the same house and yet we very rarely had even talked to each other for the past few months!

_I guess I really can't blame him for feeling this way since I'm not too happy about how we've practically become strangers in our own home, either!_

I gently stroked the inside of his wrist with my fingertips knowing, from long experience, that this was the best way to calm him. For some reason that I really couldn't explain, the gentle rotation of my fingertips on his skin seemed to soothe him as nothing else did and I used it frequently whenever a day like today cropped up or when he'd had a bad day and needed some comfort.

"I truly am sorry," I said quietly, my fingers stroking the inside of his wrist with my other hand. "I know how much our time together means to you and, believe me, I feel the same way but, until our workloads wind down, we don't have much of a choice." I gave him what I hoped was a crooked grin. "It _is_ our job, after all."

He took a deep breath, letting it out in a slow stream, his lips quirking into a sardonic smile, the hooded look slowly disappearing from his eyes.

"Damn you, Edgeworth," he said with some chagrin and I chuckled at the discomfited look on his face, squeezing his wrist affectionately, "I really _hate_ it when I can't argue a point."

I chuckled again before I leaned over and planted a quick buss against his mouth. I could feel him stiffen slightly and then relax a few heartbeats later as he leaned into it, his mouth moving sweetly against my own. After some time I reluctantly broke the kiss, promising Phoenix that I would make it up to him and he grudgingly agreed before he turned and walked down the stairs.

I could still hear Phoenix's protests ringing in my ears as I slowly climbed the stairs, my arms loaded with boxes and garbage bags, pausing before the attic door as if in contemplation.

I sighed, putting down the boxes with a hollow thump, fishing in my pocket for the key which I placed in the lock and turned it before opening the door, pushing it open and picking up the boxes again, walking inside without a word and kicking the door shut.

I placed the boxes down on the floor near my desk, my eyebrow raising as I looked around the room at a multitude of dust motes that lazily danced in the watery sunlight that filtered through the thick red curtains that covered the windows. It had been awhile since I had dusted last and, from the quick swipe I took of the shelf nearest my desk, I needed to do a thorough cleaning.

_Just another thing to add to the growing list of chores,_ I thought morosely, rooting through the box of cleaning supplies that lay on the floor, _which will, in effect, take a good part of the afternoon to do._ I sighed as I stood up, a can of Pledge in one hand and a dust rag in the other. _I_ had _hoped to get some work done but that doesn't seem like its going to happen today, not with all the cleaning and dusting I have to do._

I looked askance at the dusty shelves, wondering again if this was truly necessary to do today. Maybe Phoenix was right; maybe I should do some other day but, with a quick look around at all the dust that lay in a thick layer on nearly every square inch in the room, I knew that I had to, like it or not.

_The sooner I get started, the sooner I get it done and the sooner we can get back to our original plan for this weekend. To hell with work; after this, I'll definitely need a break!_

With a sigh of resignation, I squared my shoulders and set to cleaning.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_Two hours later...  
4:30 P.M._

I stood up with a muffled groan, straightening up and wincing at the sharp pain that I felt in the middle of my back. I slowly stretched my arms over my head and leaned over to the right and then back again, doing the stretching exercises that a friend of one of my colleagues, a physical therapist, had given me to help with my periodic episodes of back pain.

I'd injured myself while Phoenix and I vacationed one year in the mountains and, every now and then an area on my lower back would act up and the exercises would help to ease the pain. It worked amazingly well, for which I was grateful and, every time my back acted up after exercise or strenuous physical activity, I knew what to do.

Some moments later, the pain had eased and I was able to pick up and put away the boxes that were stored neatly in a semi-circle on the floor in their newly dusted shelves. I looked at my watch: it was now four-thirty in the afternoon and I was nearly finished. I hummed a happy tune while I did so, thoughts of what Phoenix and I would do after I had completed the task running through my mind.

Depending on how much time remained before dinner, there were a multitude of various activities that we could do together: we could relax on the couch with a glass of wine and listen to a CD in the CD player and listen to it; we could watch some television or a DVD or we could hang out in the kitchen while I prepared dinner and talk.

I smiled happily as I placed the second to last box on the newly dusted shelf nearest the door. _Any of these sounds like they would be good to have some together time; goodness knows that we need it! I'll ask Phoenix and see what he thinks; maybe he'll have other ideas of what we could do._ I looked down at my dusty clothing and grimaced. _Perhaps a shower would be in order first._ I chuckled as the thought of asking Phoenix to join me crossed my mind. _Perhaps that would be a better plan of action. I don't think he'd mind!_

With that pleasant thought reverberating through my head and spurring me onward, I picked up the last box up off of the floor and was about to put in it its proper place on the shelf when a soft whisper from my left distracted me. I had been so engrossed in what I was doing that I had basically shut out anything going on outside the room and that soft sound had invaded my silent world, blasting into my consciousness with the force of an atom bomb.

_What on earth-!_ I was so startled that I almost dropped the box but managed to keep a firm grip on it until my heart had returned to its proper place from its impromptu trip into my throat. I took deep breaths to calm myself, inhaling and exhaling rhythmically until my racing heart had returned to normal.

I placed the box on the floor and turned in the direction of where the sound had come from, looking around the room to find out what it was that had so disturbed my reverie and had nearly given me heart failure in the process. I couldn't see anything in the immediate vicinity that would have accounted for the sound and I was puzzled as to what the sound had been.

It was strange that such a soft noise could have startled me like that but, given how much I had tuned out any noise from the outside world for the past two hours, I suppose it shouldn't have been such a surprise.

_Odd._ Frowning, my eyes scanned the room once again to see if I saw anything that I might have missed the first time but there wasn't anything different in this room that hadn't already been there. _I don't see anything. What could the sound have been?_ I tapped my foot against the floor, crossing my arms over my chest, my finger tapping the inside of my right arm. _It had to have come from inside this room; there isn't anywhere it else it could have come from! The question is: where?_

I thought about it for a few minutes, going over every possibility in my mind and I was no closer to an answer at the end of it than I was when I started. It was strange, to say the least.

After awhile, I shrugged my shoulders, picked up the box and put it on the shelf, regulating the incident to the furthest corners of my mind.

_I suppose that what the sound was will remain a mystery but I have better things to think about than what that sound was._

Satisfied, I dusted my hands off and was about to walk out of the room when the toe of my shoe came into contact with something that lay on the floor in front of me.

_What's this?_

I slowly bent over and picked up a soft cream colored envelope, turning it over in my hand, my eyes narrowing.

_I know that I've seen this before but where? And how could I have missed it?_

There was something vaguely _familiar_ about it but I couldn't quite put my finger on what that was. Perhaps it was something about the shape or even the color that stirred something in my memory but, for the moment as I stood there looking at it, it remained cloudy.

It also made me feel _very_ uneasy and that was the most surprising thing of all. _Why_ was something so simple like an envelope making me feel this on edge? I couldn't understand why I was feeling like that and it was discomfiting when the feeling of unease grew steadily the longer I looked at it.

I gave my head a disgusted shake. _Really, Miles,_ I chided myself mentally, _you're just being ridiculous. There is absolutely_ no _reason why you should be feeling like you're going to your execution over something so simple as an envelope!_ The corners of my mouth quirked into a thin parody of a smile; my heart began to beat faster which both increased the feeling of unease and irritation at my irrational reaction. _If this is bothering you, you've been working too hard!_

This was starting to really aggravate me so I decided to open the blasted envelope and see exactly what it was that was bothering me so much about it.

_Then you'll see that you're being childish and silly about the whole thing and then you can get back to your day with a clean slate._ I snorted as I turned the envelope over and opened it, taking out a faded, cream colored piece of parchment paper. It was of high quality, I noted; even though it had yellowed somewhat with age, it still looked fresh and crisp and a fine black ink had been used even though it, too had slightly faded.

That much I could tell from a single glance but, the more I looked at it, the more the feeling of uneasiness increased and I really couldn't think of a single reason why it would. Which, in turn, annoyed me even more. I didn't know _why_ I was so anxious over a single piece of stationery-which, upon closer examination, I saw a faded mark in the upper right hand corner-or even _why_ I should be! What was so threatening about a single piece of paper?

I stood there for some time in the now deafening silence, a chill running up my spine. Whatever this piece of faded parchment represented, it was clearly not something that boded well if my reaction just looking at the thing was any indication.

I chewed on my lower lip distractedly, trying to quell the frenetic racing of my heart. What bothered me even more was that I was on the verge of panic and I couldn't understand why. What was it about this piece of parchment that was making me feel like a frightened child? Where were these feelings coming from and what could possibly be causing them?

_What is it about this piece of parchment that has me all tied up in knots like this?_ I looked down once again at the paper I held in my hand which, I noted with concern, was starting to tremble. _I don't understand why I'm feeling like this! What could possibly be the cause..?_

By now, I was beginning to feel equal amounts of irritation and trepidation; I didn't know why I was reacting like this and it disturbed me since I could think of no logical reason _why_ I should be. As far as I was concerned, this had gone on long enough and I was determined to get to the bottom of just _what_ this piece of paper contained.

Still, I _couldn't_ shake of that foreboding feeling of impending doom that seemed to increase with every moment that passed.

I gave my head hard shake, trying to quell the outright panic that was stemming from this piece paper. _Enough! Just look at the damned thing and get it over with!_

Quickly, before I lost my courage, I opened the letter... and my heart nearly stopped when I saw the first four words that leaped out at me from the page:

_Geliebtes Kind, Geliebtes Weib_

My eyes widened, my heart raced and my hand trembled uncontrollably as I read those four words. I broke out into a cold sweat and shivered as the old fears, and my old night terrors that I once thought I had banished forever, came rushing back.

_Oh, my God... It.. it..._can't _be! It..._ can't!

_Geliebtes Kind, Geliebtes Weib_

My hand clenched involuntarily, the aged parchment protesting as my fingers crushed the offending tome; it was almost as if they wished to destroy it, to rend it into countless bits of tattered paper, the words blotted out and incomprehensible.

_Geliebtes Kind, Geliebtes Weib_

My heart pounded in my chest as I threw that traitorous piece of faded parchment onto the top of my desk with sickened disgust, my lip curling as I did so, unable to fully suppress the horrified expression that plastered itself over my face or the trembling of my hands.

I pressed my back against the far wall of my office, trying to put as much distance between me and that letter as I possibly could. Tears streamed down my face but I made no move to wipe them away; I had no energy to do so even had I wanted to, since I felt drained the very moment that those traitorous words leaped out at me.

_It... can't be! I... I ..._destroyed _this... this... perversion years ago...! Why... where... No!_

Memories came unbidden to the forefront of my mind, wave after wave threatening to engulf me in feelings of disgust and despair.

_He was undressing me with his eyes..._

The glimmer of lust in his gaze whenever he looked at me...

"No..." I moaned softly, trying to blot out the onrushing memories but I couldn't have stopped them even if I had tried.

More followed...

_I saw him watching me when I took a bath and lingered far longer than he should have..._

His displays of affection, never really paramount in the first place when I was a child, were now more frequent and... over warm... It didn't matter when or where...

I clutched the edge of the desk in order to keep from falling to the floor since my legs were trembling so badly that I could barely stand, my knuckles white. I closed my eyes and shook my head violently, trying to dislodge the memories that I had buried for so many years but it was in vain. What I had tried to keep secret, even from myself, was now on full mental display, with no means of escape.

_He couldn't keep his hands off of me, touching me, feeling me... even when I asked, no begged, pleaded, with him to stop..._

My body arced, a thin scream emerging from my tightly compressed lips.

_The sick disgust I felt when his advances aroused me even as they frightened and repelled me... His hot breath on the back of my neck, his teeth nibbling my flesh..._

"Oh... God..." I moaned, my voice thick with mingled disgust and fear. I felt sick and fought down the urge to vomit, shame and remorse washing over me as the memories that I had tried so hard to forget were now as fresh in my mind as they had been all those years ago. "Oh... _God_...!"

_Why now? Why now?!_

I gritted my teeth hard, my grip on the desk tightening as I felt the world spinning and heaving around me. Stars danced before my eyes, glowing painfully with sharp clarity until I scrunched my eyes shut; I bit down on my lower lip trying to fend off the wave of darkness that was coming up from below to enshroud me in its inky grip.

To my fuddled mind, I thought I heard something-a shout, perhaps?-coming from bottom of the stairs and I tried to respond but I couldn't make my mouth work to form the words, and I had no voice with which to speak. I lifted my hand shakily but quickly brought it down when the room spun so much that I could barely remain standing, gulping down deep breaths as if I were suffocating and couldn't breathe.

_After all this time... after all this time, it's come back to haunt me..._

**"Miles!"**

_I should have known... I should have known I could..._ never..._escape my past..._

**"Miles!"**

_Someone... is someone.. who... why...what?_

**"Miles!"**

_What is that... sound...?_

That was the last conscious thought I had before the darkness washed over me, dragging me down into the depths with it...


End file.
